Without Him
by LLFallenAngel
Summary: A terrible ending and a lonely girl. I don't want to live in a world without him What happens when Kagome thinks she's lost it all? R


**I was reading a few sad fanfics and this one came to my head. I actually got really sad writng it but had to finish it. I wrote the whole thing in an hour. I hope you appreacitate it for what it is and don't bash it too bad. **

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Without Him

Why aren't I dead. I don't want to live in a world without him. I don't want to be alone.

Kagome lied in the fateful spot she had chosen as her final resting place. The thousand year old tree, the very tree she found him. The wind was low but chilly and the sky was black. The stars shown brighter now, but past her tears it didn't matter. She sat their in her uniform and held a small blade in her right hand, sitting there, head down and curled up crying. "Why…why Inuyasha?" More tears fell. He was gone. Inuyasha was gone. She was alone. She smacked her free hand against her head, trying to block the terrible memory.

Naraku lived. He lived but the jewel was theirs again. Everyone was there for the final battle. Sesshomaru and his followers. Koga and his wolves. Inuyasha and the rest of the gang. Her, and even Kikyo. They all shared a hand in defeating the monster.

She cried remembering. He was so strong. So strong. Sesshomaru didn't arrive in time to help them and Koga didn't live long enough to be revived by the Tenseiga. Inuyasha's sword hacked away at him, but he wasn't stopped. Kagome even combined her arrows with Kikyo and yet it still seemed he would not die. The tainted jewel would not be purified. Miroku's wind tunnel was useless but he still insisting on sucking up the poisonous insects. Little Shippo was so scared. Sango and Kirara fought bravely, suffering terrible wounds.

Koga attacked head strong, bravely but foolishly rushing into his death. He didn't stand a chance against Naraku and no matter what Kagome and Inuyasha did, they couldn't save him. That bastard Naraku ripped his heart out and stole the last remaining jewel shards. It was complete. With it-he got even stronger. That monster! Kagome gripped her fists in anger, sneering in pity and rage. Junta and Hakaku would even more angry. Revenge was short lived and their lives were ended in the blink of an eye. The wolves howled loud in sorrow that night under the half moon.

Kikyo had arrived soon after. Inuyasha fought to keep her protected after Naraku targeted her existence next. Kagome felt furious about it now. She should have let him kill her, but at that time, even Kagome's arrows kept the dead woman standing. After Inuyasha was almost killed the first time they had chosen to combine their arrows to save him. The jewel was nearly purified. The purple glow shone brightly, but it cost Kagura her life. Her tainted blood was poured by Naraku and the jewel was again lost into the black abyss of his body.

They had dragged Inuyasha away. Sango carried him to give him at least a short time to heal. Left there, Kagome, Miroku and Kikyo united their spiritual energy to ward him off. Miroku had to protect them, so again he risked his life, sucking in all the poison that came with the thousands of demons. Kikyo almost let him die if just to live a little bit longer. Kagome left the protection of his shield to save him. All Naraku's attention went to her as she ran. Was it the end? Was she really going to die? She couldn't help but shake in fear and cry, calling out his name when she was in Naraku's grasp. But it was a different dog demon that came to her rescue.

Sesshomaru came with full force. He didn't fight for her life, but saved her in the process of his first attack. Inuyasha came running soon after. Sango lied with Miroku now, both in the grasp of death. Kirara…oh poor Kirara. She-she wouldn't live along with her friends. Her life was given for theirs. Shippo's tear that night stung her soul.

Tenseiga and Tetsaiga that night were finally brought to their purpose. The brothers, although reluctant as always realized it was the only way. The magic of the two swords was combine and a power even stronger than the jewel itself was created for a split second of Naraku's defeat. His demons, his body, his evil didn't withhold the strike of the power. Again, Kikyo convince Kagome it was time to again use their gift. With combined arrows and energy they shot forward. The attack followed close behind the strikes of the swords and hit the jewel while it revealed itself. Finally, the cursed pearl was shattered, this time with no shards to put back together. This time-it was gone and never would it return.

Naraku however wasn't fully killed. Some part of him escaped, but his threat was gone. Without the jewel, he was a parasite.

"Please-please please save them!" The cries of Kagome over her fallen comrades, her friends.

Sesshomaru's sword was the only one with the power, but the price of this battle was two great. Sango and Miroku's lives were saved, but Koga, Kirara, Junta and Hakaku…their names would be carved into her heart. Sesshomaru felt the disappointment of not being able to resurrect them, but he remained himself. She still thanked him. Inuyasha even forgot their history for his thanks.

As if the battle hadn't cost them enough though. Again, Kagome slammed her hands to her head, trying to knock herself into some sight of amnesia. "Your owe me your life Inuyasha. It's time to keep your promise." Cursed witch1 Kagome held her arrow high to that black miko. With all rage she would have shot without an second thought, but he still defended her. Inuyasha stood between the arrow that would save his life and the cursed wench that would take it. "I owe it to her Kagome." He couldn't even look her in the face as he spoke those words. He wasn't even convinced it was the right way. The fool! He was blinded by what they had. He was so stupid1 She understood for the first time why Sesshomaru lost his respect in the hanyou. "No!" No!" No matter how she shouted, her couldn't get to the one man she loved. She couldn't break the invisible barrier that held her back with her hand extended praying for him to take it. Kikyo held on to him as the earth opened up and sucked them in. He kept his eyes ion Kagome's the whole time, tears fallen like hers, but he wouldn't reach out. He wouldn't let her save him. He was blinded by that false promise. He was blinded!

Kagome's hands slammed into the ground now. She left Shippo and the others with Keade and she ran. The pain was unbearable. They lost too much already, and still the heavens and hells demanded more. Her head came hard against the base of the tree and she felt the dizziness from the blow. "NO MORE!" Her call came over all of Tokyo, but no one would hear it. Her family was gone. They weren't there when she needed them most. Her clothes were still stained with battle. Her friends wouldn't know-they wouldn't understand. Kagome was so alone, and all she wanted to do…was die.

She looked down, raising her right hand and opening it to stare at the little knife she stole from her kitchen. "I don't want to love in a world alone-with out you." She cried, letting the tears stain her eyes. She sobbed and wiped them away, biting her lip and letting it bleed. She slammed her head in her hand again and took away the last piece of doubt. Now while it was banish she acted without another thought. The little silver blade slashed her wrist. She sneered to the pain but ignored it and took the knife in her wounded hand and mimicked the cut on her other wrist. For a moment she was ready to shove it into her waist-hopping that would be the fatal blow if her wrists would not, but soon enough she was all to dizzy and dropped it. The battle mixed with the slams she had given to herself and the loss of blood she was enduring became enough. He body slid to the side slowly going limp.

"Inuyasha." Barely a whisper but the one person she wanted to see most. The wind either got colder or she did. Kagome felt a painful pulsing in her temple but didn't care. She didn't care. The stars faded and the night engulfed her as her eyes closed slowly.

For a second she was taken back, a whole flash back of her life. All the joy and normal before the well ever really existed to her. The times she thought nothing would ever give her this pain. And then there he was. Inuyasha pinned to the very tree she chose to die at. The place she felt closest to him, but happiest in her world. "Inuyasha." The tears although invisible still stung. It all replayed. Every battle they had, every argument, every laugh, every moment she was so sure that she loved him, even if he didn't love her. The word "sit" rang in her head. She felt a tug of her lips, as if to smile, but then the sadness came back and it all started over. The battles. The blood. She thought she'd lose him to the blood but never did she fear that he'd leave her for the false vow. Inuyasha." She didn't have the energy anymore to say it aloud. The blackness came more, but she saw that faint blink of white light in the end. There it was. No life on earth, no present day or past, but heaven. She wouldn't have to be alone. Kagome unconsciously walked toward it. The warmth called to her. She walked slowly, and with every step it got brighter.

So bright. She'd get there and she wouldn't be alone…but… where-where was he? Kagome saw among the hands of the angels that called to her none familiar. Not the father she barely remembered or the friends she lost. And not his. Inuyasha wasn't there. Inuyasha wasn't there. Inuyasha wasn't there. Why? She didn't want to live in a world without him, not even in a heaven. Kagome felt her body stop and grow cold. The warmth wasn't there anymore. Inuyasha. "Inuyasha!" She spun round. The white was one her one side and the black on the other. "INUYASHA!" Her wrists stung. Kagome raised them. The blood poured so fast and the pain was so bad. It didn't hurt like this before. Then it came from the back of her head and the front. Her entire head felt as if it were gonna explode. No. this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Then all at once it was gone and she was in the air, in the shrine of the well. She blinked and stared, unable to get down. It was empty at first, then like a VCR that wouldn't stop it went fast then slow. Inuyasha jumping in and out, them together coming in and out, her alone going in and out. It was rewinding and it came all the way to the first item with Mistress Centipede. Sota afraid to go in after Buyo and Kagome daring to venture inside. Wait, if she didn't go in-she wouldn't feel this pain. "No." A whisper. "No…no don't…" Another silent cry. "No!" "No-go back. Don't go down there!" It was useless-she couldn't hear herself. Kagome's let he tears fall. This was it. This started it all. If she hadn't have gone in there, if it hadn't of happened…she never would have met Inuyasha. The thought slapped her and Kagome went rigid.

She never would have met him. Never would have…met him. Inuyasha. No, she had to go. The pain was terrible but the love was what mattered. There would be a void if fate hadn't brought her to that well.

"Kagome."

She spun around, suddenly before the tree. It wasn't dark or night or cold. It was warm and the tree actually had blooms and the grass was green around it and the sky blue. She looked around. That was him. It was his voice. "Inuyasha?" She didn't see him, but then her eyes came to the body. Her body. Her frail body losing all it's color at the base of the tree with the blood pouring into the green ground. "Kagome." Again she spun. "Inuyasha!" Where-where-Inuyasha! He was there-but-he was on the tree. Like he was the first item she saw him, pined and cursed with eh arrow still in his heart. Inuyasha. She went to run to him, but couldn't. She couldn't get to him. "Kagome!" "Inuyasha!" She called and spun, all so suddenly feeling faint and loosing her stand. She started to fall and started to g o down, losing her thoughts for a second, but something caught her. Kagome opened her eyes to stare up at the beautiful face of her hero.

Inuyasha held her in his arms, bringing her back up to stand before him. "Inu- Inuyasha!" She hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. He returned the embrace and Kagome felt her existence fading . All she wanted to do was stay there with him. "Inuyasha." She said happily again, taking in his scent. The moment felt like an eternity, but he wouldn't let it last. "Kagome." She held him tighter, sensing he wanted to pull away. "Kagome-you have to go back." Her eyes went wide and body stiff. No. "No!" She held even tighter and closed her sight as she nestled into her chest. "Kagome-you have to." "I don't want to. Not without you." She pleaded and clung even tighter. "You have to Kagome." "Not without you!" "Your not without me." She went rigid. Holding his hand s tight onto his kimono she pulled her head back to look up at him. "Your not alone." He said soothing her. "Are you-are you coming back Inuyasha?" She felt tears fall. He didn't frown but smiled. "I'm always with you Kagome, even if I'm not there in person." "No! Your not there. I don't have you there to hold. I don't have you there to protect me. Your not there your dead!" The thought of it squeezed the air from her lungs. "I love you." She said looking down. His hand came up and pulled her to face him. "I love you." He returned. She frowned. "Than hwy won't you come back. Why'd you leave me alone." "Your not alone." "I am. Inuyasha, without you I'm always alone." She rested her head onto his chest. "Your not alone." He said again. She frowned. "Stop saying that-you don't understand. I can't live without you." "Your not without me." "I won't have you there to hug. I don't have a reason to go back to that place anymore. I don't have you."

"Kagome." She pulled back as he did and his hands found her wrist, lifting them up for them both to see Now he frowned. She still bleed but she didn't even feel it. "Your not alone." He held them out and slowly, the cuts healed, like they were never there. "As long as I love you, you'll never be alone. As long as I'm in your heart, you'll always be safe." She cried. He was saying goodbye. "But I don't want that-I want to be here with you." "Kagome-you have to go back." She looked up at him. "But your not there waiting for me!"

He frowned with her, but them suddenly pulled her into his embrace. Kagome held tight there. "I love you so much. So much Kagome." "Then why won't you come back?" She let her tears pour into he shoulder. "I'll see you again. Soon enough-I'll hold you like this again." "Just-just come back." She cried it, whined and pleaded. "When you wake up, you'll have your family. You still have to be a mother to Shippo. You still have to guide Sango and lead Miroku. Naraku's evil is still there, and that's where you'll find me. I'll always be there when you face that burden. My sword was left behind."

Yes it was. Although he went into the abyss, the sword remained. She left it with the others.

"Together you'll fight and I'll be there." Kagome pulled her head back to stare at him again. "Will you?" She cried, still begging him to come back, but knowing he couldn't. "I love you so much." He said. Kagome smiled slightly, leaning forward and meeting his lips. I love you so much.

Kagome opened her eyes to the sudden draft. The sun was rising she saw. The pink horizon told her it was another day. She sat up suddenly, staring around her. She was at the tree. She raised her hands. Her wrists were untouched. Was it a dream-or…Her head didn't throb and her body felt relaxed. After a few seconds she stood up. Now facing the tree she raised her hand to lie against it.

"Kagome."

She spun around, a slight hope in her heart but all she saw was her mother. "Mom." "What're you doing out here?" "Mom." She wasted not time running into her arms. "Oh Kagome-what's wrong?" Kagome cried in her mothers warmth. She remembered what he said and forced a smile. "I'm…I'm not alone."

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**I shed these staining tears that shall never end. I let these fallen drops pour all for pretend.**

There it is...sad if you ask me. So-oh-if this is ever what really happens on Inuyasha I'll hunt down the creator and slaughter him Thankyou for reading! Review plz!


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